This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
