another moral hangover. fuck.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
