Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
