Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
