I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I deserve this hangover.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
