you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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