Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
