She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
