Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
