You're so nebulous sometimes
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
