But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
