Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Randomize
