Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
