My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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