Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Less talking, more tequila
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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