Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
