There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
