its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
