Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
