Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Houston, we have a squirter
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
