Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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