pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
