My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
