My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
did i just pee glitter
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
