i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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