I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
