the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
