I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
