I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
