I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
