I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I accidentally had phone sex last night
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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