YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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