But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
apparently the secret to your success is patron
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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