it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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