They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
