"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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