i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
