why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
