No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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