I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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