I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
