Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
