The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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