they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
