How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
