A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
