six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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