she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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