i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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