this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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